Every Day Life

I got home past eleven pm tonight. Tomorrow is a german holiday and I think people thought that the world was going to end over the weekend. Why do people do this? They trampled the store! Bought EVERYTHING. I swear the store was empty. Which means double work for me on Monday, by the way. *sighs*

Obviously I'm tired. But I started reading "Covet" this morning and I really want to see where JR Ward takes us in this book. It's really good. If I weren't so tired, I'd actually write an update of my own. Dear Diary is still waiting. Can't keep Kat drooling over Kyp's shoulder forever, now can I?

Otherwise things are quiet. I've been thinking about NanoWrimo but I still haven't come up with something decent to write. I'd like to stick with contemporary romance this year but being the writing perfectionist that I am, I want to spice it up with something. Question is, with what? The problem I have is that I do have enough ideas and some of these ideas are really good but they're huge ideas. HUGE. Which would mean research and I'm too lazy to do research. I could, of course, make things up along the way. Have the story play out in some unknown fantasy world. But that would end up epic, as I've seen with all the notes I've already scribbled down.

I wonder who the authors do it. How do authors stick with one idea? With one story? I admire this. And I think it's my biggest flaw when it comes to writing. I can't stick with it because I bore myself. If I bore myself, how the heck is the reader supposed to find it interesting?

That's where I think fanfiction comes in quite handy. It's a learning expierience.

I remember one time I wrote a little passage in which two characters were travelling from A to B. And obi commented about how it read as if they'd more or less teleported to B. I will never forget that. It's stuck with me ever since and ever since, I've taken great care not to repeat that mistake. Constructive criticism really isn't all that bad.

I received quite a compliment today. A customer came up to me and said I looked prettier every day. How nice is that? I was stunned into silence of course. I don't see myself as overly pretty. I'm an average looking girl, imo. Besides the skin color. You don't see a lot of mixed people around here. They're either really, really dark or Indian or Turkish but not like me. So I do make heads turn now and then but I still I was stunned. It was definately a very nice thing to day and no doubt I blushed.

I think the way you see yourself is always different than others see you. I might even be too strict with myself sometimes. I'm not skinny. Not anymore anyway. *sighs* Back before all the meds I could go shopping without having to sort through all the sizes just to find something that would fit. It's horrible! I couldn't even find a decent looking jacket because most the girls around here seem to be anorexic. But thank God htere's the internet and thank God there are tons of Goth sites out there. I want a simple black jacket. Easy, yes?

I suppose because of the weight I've gained, I don't feel as comfortable with myself as I used to. So when someone compliments me, my first thought is that they're lying or they don't mean me at all. How messed up is that?

I need to change my personal perception, seriously.

Off to reading my book.

Good night!