Memoirs of a Killer

Excerpt from The Memoirs Of Jedi Master Kyp Durron – the younger years

My first real memory is of my mother dragging me to see a Doctor. I might have been three or four years old at the time and I remember quite vividly that I did not want to see a Doctor.

Simply put, the man was scary. He was taller than my mother was, with a spotty baldhead and bushy white eyebrows. I think he meant his smile to seem reassuring but with yellow teeth and dry, cracked lips all he ever really accomplished was scare the crap out of me.

That day, I woke up with my ears itching and my throat burning like crazy. My mother had made my favorite breakfast and I was very angry that I could hardly swallow, let alone chew. I tried not to let it show but my mother had always been rather perceptive. She always knew when I lied to her, she always knew when my brother and I had done something we weren’t supposed to be doing.

This time she knew I wasn’t feeling too well. She shoved me into my room and helped me get dressed. I was a stubborn little kid at my age and every time she turned her back towards me, I would shrug off the last piece of clothing she had made me put on. Of course, she wasn’t happy with my behavior but I didn’t care. She was the one who wanted me to see the creepy Doctor!

In the end, I lost.

The waiting room was packed with coughing children and worried parents. I grabbed my mother’s hand while I looked at a little girl, whose face was puffy red. Maybe she was afraid of the Doctor, too. Who wouldn’t be, for that matter?

I don’t remember how long we had to wait – a few minutes, maybe even a few hours. When the nurse came in and called my name, I remember my heart acting up. It was the very first time in my life that I was truly afraid.

My mother grabbed my hand and literally pulled me into the Doctor’s office. I think I started to wail and scream, scratching at her hand for her to let go. Of course, she ignored my tantrum; she perfected ignoring me every time I behaved out of line.

The Doctor sat behind his desk and smiled when he saw me. Now, if my mother thought I was having a tantrum in the waiting room, this was a full-scale hurricane blowing in her face. I tried ripping free of her hold, screaming at the top of my lungs. She wouldn’t let me go of course so I let myself fall to my knees and crawled underneath her legs to get to freedom.

The idiot Doctor grabbed my ankles and yanked me back and I remember my fingers scratching along the tiled floor. I really didn’t like this man.
I gave up after a few more minutes of fighting. They sat me down on an exam table, a few machines flashing on at once, beeping at me. The colors were interesting but the sounds annoyed me. All I wanted to do was go home.

The Doctor brought out his instruments to look at me and every so often, he made a “hmpf” sound and nodded to himself. I kept looking to my mother and then back to the Doctor with the bushy eyebrows, wondering if he was speaking in a new language only grown-ups could understand.

“There’s a virus going around. Nothing serious.” The Doctor smiled at me and my eyes widened. How could a human have teeth so yellow? Then I noticed that his teeth had black spots and I vowed to always listen to my mother when she told me to brush my teeth.

“We’re just going to give you some medication and then you can go home.”

Well, wasn’t that a happy thought? But something told me not to trust the creepy Doctor, especially when he smiled like that.
The nurse left the room and came back a few minutes later with a small tray in her hands. I looked from her face to the tray and back again, wondering if she was serious.
All I saw was a needle. They’d lost their minds. There was no way I was going to let them stick me with a needle! I felt like I was zapped into one of those old holo movies. Where were the hyposprays?

“I need you to lie down on your tummy.” The Doctor said, snapping gloves onto his spotty hands. I jumped at the sound and swallowed when he took the syringe in his hand.
“Sweetheart, lay down.” My mom whispered.

“No.” I shook my head, “Uh-uh.”

“Honey –“

“You lay down! No!”

My mother knelt down before me and took my hands in hers, “I promise when this is over, you get to eat sweets all day long.”
It was a tempting offer but compared with a needle being shot through my skin she needed to offer a whole lot more. “I get to play with Zeth all day, too. And no school work today. And I get to watch a movie. And play holo games, too!”

For a moment, I thought my mother would say no but she smiled then and nodded, “Alright. But you have to lay down now.”
Reluctantly I did so, rolling onto my stomach and heaving a sigh. But then the creepy Doctor said the words every Doctor should be incarcerated for, “Don’t you worry, Kyp. This won’t hurt a bit.”

He rammed the needle into my left butt cheek – and he said it wouldn’t hurt? He not only scared me, he was a liar too.
This won’t hurt a bit, huh?

Yeah, well, it did.



When I turned six years old, my parents told us we would be moving to the capitol because the both of them had found better jobs. I didn’t really care. I didn’t have many friends – most children my age thought I was strange and usually left me to myself.

Zeth, on the other hand, threw one hell of a fit. Zeth was popular among his peers, leading on a group of young boys who got into trouble a whole lot. Our father wouldn’t have it though – he always knew when to say something and how to say it. There was no arguing with him when he was angry – Dad always got his way.
We started a new life with a new home, a new school and new friends. At least for Zeth. We had new neighbors as well. They seemed the average type but it was their daughter that caught my attention. It was the first time in my life that I developed a crush. She was beautiful.

The first time I saw her I was playing on the beach. I had gathered a few sticks and bound them together with leather cord, pretending to be flying an X-Wing. I ran up and down the shore, the water splashing my feet and legs. And then there was the little girl, sitting alone and staring out to sea.

I remember wanting to speak to her but usually when I befriended someone, after a while, they would just leave. Back then, I had no idea about the Force and I didn’t know that my gift was not an abomination. I don’t think I will ever forget the old man who once ran down the street, threatening to shove a stick up somewhere painful… That’s really not something you say to a kid.

I stood watching the little girl and when she turned her head and smiled, all I could do was gape at her. Her parents came and got her eventually and she waved at me before she entered her home.

The next few days I ran to the beach after school, always hoping to see her there. And there she was, sitting on the same spot every day. I knew she was waiting for me and I liked that.

This went on for weeks until they moved again. And throughout all this time, we never once spoke a word. To this day, I don’t even know her name.



There was a junkyard about an hour away from our house. After school – while my parents were still working – Zeth and I would hang out there. We would talk and play games until it grew dark and then we’d run home like crazy, hoping to get there before our parents arrived.

A few days after my seventh birthday, Zeth took me there saying he had a late gift for me. I was happy, of course. I loved receiving presents. My Mom had gotten a Rebel action figure for me, which I carried around with me for weeks until Zeth tore off its head.

Suffice it to say, I wasn’t happy.

The junkyard was eerily quiet when we arrived and I was anxious to know what Zeth had gotten for me. Every time I asked, he would simply smile. The strange glint in his dark eyes made me wary, though. Even though I loved my brother to death, there were times I didn’t trust him at all.

I knew he was up to something but curiosity overruled my common sense and I followed him.

He stopped at a large, silver dumpster and grinned at me. I remember vividly how he thrust his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat, “You’re present’s in there.”
“Nuh-uh.”

“It is. I swear it.”

“You’re lying again.”

“Why would I lie to you?”

“’Cuz you’re an idiot.”

Zeth shushed me and shook his head, “Trust me, alright? Now come here and jump in.”

He had to be crazy! There was no way I would jump into a garbage dumpster with my crazy brother standing next to it.
“It’s another one of those action figures.”

I gasped and dropped my schoolbag, running the next few meters before I really did jump into the dumpster. And he hadn’t been lying! There was the newest Rebel action figure.

“Thanks Ze –“

But then my stupid brother closed the top of the dumpster and locked me in for over three hours. The smell was disgusting – I kept gagging and tried my best to hold my nose and not breathe too much. Yelling for the idiot to let me out did me no good at all. All I heard was him laughing at me, taunting me because I had fallen for his trick yet again.

And why not? He was my older brother. You usually get to trust your siblings.

When Zeth let me out, it was already dark outside and I stunk. I thought about taking a dip in the ocean but then I’d have to explain to my Mom why I was wet. Glaring at Zeth, we made our way home, awaiting the storm when we entered the front door.

But there was no storm. In fact, our parents sat at the dinner table, huddled over data pads and talking in hush tones. They didn’t even look up when we entered and I made a silent escape to the fresher and then hurried to bed.

I look back to the first few years of my life with a smile, with laughter. My family means the world to me and wherever they are now, I hope they know this.
One year later, everything changed. The Empire came and took away everything I had ever cared for, I had ever loved.
My personal hellhole began the moment white armored Stormtroopers busted into our home…

End Excerpt